Impolite Company

Rep. Joe Barton: More Brilliance

Just ran across a quote from Joe Barton, one of the Texas delegation in the US House who is the ranking Republican on the House Energy and Commerce Committee.  Grist quotes Barton from an interview that appeared in Newsmax, regarding his fears that the EPA could regulate marathon runners under its authority to regulate sources of CO2, Barton Worries that EPA Will Regulate Runners:

Barton says the average healthy adult exhales between four-tenths of a ton and seven-tenths of a ton of CO2 a year.

“So if you put 20,000 marathoners into a confined area, you could consider that a single source of pollution, and you could regulate it,” Barton says. “The key would be whether the EPA said that 20,000 people running the same route was one source or not.”

What the hell?  This is what he thinks is going to break the back of efforts to regulate carbon dioxide?  Stoking fears that marathon racers will be regulated?  Maybe a more effective route would be to claim that any mass gathering of people could be considered a single source, like the Super Bowl or the Final Four.  Marathoners are a rather small slice of the American population to make much of a difference but if you could convince football fans that they were somehow threatened by the EPA, that could change things in a big way!

Misread in Passing

I love the things our brains do with words when we're scanning--you know, studies show that when we're read we often just look at a few of the ltters in a gvn word, enough to know what it is.  A moment ago I was scanning down a list of topics at a forum I occasionally check out and read the following, "The NEW Feminist LOL-Thing."  Now I don't normally give a rat's ass about anything LOL-related but this particular combination had me intrigued so I scrolled my eyes back up to have another look and saw that the topic was really "The NEW Funniest LOL-Thing"--at which point I exited the forum.  My goal for the rest of the day is to figure out what a Feminist LOL-Thing would be.

(I Can Haz Itz Allz No Strechmarx?)

Review: Fun New Star Trek Movie

The Onion gets to the bottom of the new Star Trek movie--they loved it but how do the Trekkies feel about it?

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

50/50 Chance the Earth Will Be Destroyed

Good, good stuff.  This appears to be old Daily Show footage, from back when the Large Hadron Accelerator was supposed to go online last year.  But it's classic work and is making the rounds--I ran across it on Bad Astronomy, Intelligence Falls Into a Black Hole:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Large Hadron Collider
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis First 100 Days

Time Out for History

Sometimes righteous anger can be a beautiful thing.  For instance, a FB friend of mine ranted about the kids on public transit yesterday who were bullying the transgendered person and how she told them off.  Nice!  This morning I read a post via The Edge of the American West (I believe the poster is one of The Edge's author's advisees) that laughingly and snarkingly takes down some historical fictions making the rounds these days in the guise of Truth.  He addresses the Boston Tea Party, the Right to Secede, We're not a Christian Nation, waterboarding and smiling at Chavez.  Here's the author's intro, U.S. History for Dummies:

So, as a public service of sorts, and because, after this morning's revelations, I've reached the limit of craven and/or patently stupid falsehoods that I can feasibly ingest over so short a time, some "U.S. History for Dummies." I expect most everyone who comes by this site with any frequency knows all this, but ya never know. Apologies for the didacticism in advance -- if this were this a Coors Light commercial, this would be where i vent. (And thanks to Lia for the timely visual tax lesson, above.)

What's that crytic comment about the visual tax lesson?  I must indirectly thank Lia as well because I'm going to reproduce it here.  It's an image from a Tea Party with arrows and small captions pointing out all the things that the protestor's tax money helped pay for in the small scene:

Michelle Bachmann: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Minnesota Representative Michelle Bachmann is at it again, flaunting her ignorance before the nation and making vague insinuations that Democrats are responsible for everything that goes wrong in America, including Swine Flu!  In the following clip, she notes the interesting fact that there was a swine flu outbreak back in the 1970's under Pres. Jimmy Carter (and doesn't bother pointing out there was a small outbreak a couple of years ago in Ohio:  Did the California H1N1 Swine Flu Come from Ohio?).  Thanks to Pharyngula for pointing out Bachman's lunacy, thanks to PajamasTV for giving Bachmann a platform and now lets roll the video:

A Wild Boar Once Bit My Sister

Okay, I can't really claim any kinship to Eileen Smith of In the Pink fame(?) but she captures the proper amount of hysterical mania we should be feeling over The Swine Flue, Save Yourselves:

To anyone who’s freaking out about the swine flu, you’re not alone. Last night, I called the pharmacist begging for Tamiflu, telling him that I had just been bitten by a wild boar. This morning when I got on the elevator, I quickly pressed close door when someone came running up saying, hold the elevator! and refused to help them when their arm was almost cut off. (Seriously, just wait for the next one.) I’m sitting at my desk wearing a surgical mask and yelling at anyone who comes in my office to get out before they infect me.

And for the uninitiated, the title is a take-off on the credits from Monty Python & the Holy Grail:

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yer?

 See the løveli lakes

 The wonderful telephøne system

 And mani interesting furry animals

    The Producers would like to thank The Forestry Commission
    Doune Admissions Ltd, Keir and Cowdor Estates, Stirling
    University, and the people of Doune for their help in the
    making of this film.
    The Characters and incidents portrayed and the names used
    are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters,
    or history of any person is entirely accidental and
    unintentional.
            Signed RICHARD M. NIXON

 Including the majestic møøse 

 A Møøse once bit my sister ...

 No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse
 with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given
 her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and
 star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo
 Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst
 Nordfink".

Nash Equilibria and Vampire/Human Populations

Mathematician and all-around wonder-thinker John Nash got his Nobel Prize for his formulae introducing the concept of equilibrium to the field of game theory.  Back in the day, game theory could only measure for I-win, you-lose game situations where you could win only at the expense of another.  Nash came along with the math that allowed folks to study situations where both sides could win by introducing the idea of equilibrium points, or stable relations between two sides that were in the best interest of both sides to maintain.  His work has revolutionized fields as diverse as economics, evolutionary biology and the construction of auctions for such commodities as broadcast airwaves.

It was inevitable that someone would apply the mathematics derived from Nash's work to the balance between human and vampire populations and whether their interaction is a zero sum situation or one in which both populations can survive and thrive.  Big thanks to Pharyngula for linking to the study and opening it up to a world of dorks who might not otherwise have read about it (but it's "SunnyDALE" not "SunnyVALE"--but here's hoping you will fix it and make this aside irrelevant), Theoretical Ecology of Vampires. 

And here's a link to the five page paper on Vampire Ecology in the Jossverse (pdf).

Meat and You, Partners in Freedom

I had a "crazy friend" tell me the other day (yesterday) that she doesn't eat "red meat" just "fish and poultry".  So, until the good people NextGenAgra finally get around to inventing the fabled Steer Fish, I'd like to pass along this video of a very informative educational film that will hopefully convince her that she's being a "Grade A Moron" (two minutes):

Phil Hartman, The Simpsons were never the same after you left us.

Yes, We Have No Bananas

Oh.  Man.  I just ran across the following Banana Clip (no, it's not too early in the morning for bad puns) at one of the science blogs that the Feed Demon devours daily and it's right up there with the teabaggery for innuendo.  Except in this case there is no doubt that the innuendo is unintended.  It's a video in which Kirk Cameron is listening to a guy talk about the perfection of the banana as a tasty snack for human beings and how evolution can't explain its existence.  It's perfectly shaped for your mouth and has ridges!!  I think I'd almost rather you watch the video at this post, These Jokers Think the Banana is Perfect?  I Think Not to read about some of the weaknesses of the banana as a plant but, in case you're just in it for the fun (one minute):

God on Facebook

God has the weirdest Facebook page.  Nothing on the wall, no info (sex, interested in, hometown, political views, networks etc.) but plenty of friends and photos.  And the photos are all over the place, from pictures of scantily clad women to pictures of outspoken atheists to at least one sketch alleging to be of God.  Most interesting but I have this feeling it might be a hoax.  I think I'll go check Snopes.com.

Where the Presidential Wild Things Are

It's not President Bush reading The Pet Goat on 9/11 fortunately, but thanks to Dan Froomkin I've just had the pleasure of watching my president read Where the Wild Things Are to a bunch of kids during the Easter Egg Roll celebration at the White House.  For a fuller account, you can check out the pool report from Hailey Branson of Texas on the Potomac, TxPotomac Goes Inside the White House Easter Egg Roll.  Having read to a squirmy little girl before and having the continual pleasure of trying to keep the attention of a large group of young children, I think he does a pretty good job of keeping all the kids engaged.  The Secret Service Agent doesn't seem all that into it, though.  I think he was keeping an eye on that suspicious looking giant rabbit:

Teabaggery

The first two minutes of this report is laden with more innuendo you can shake a stick at--very funny stuff but with some good reportage mixed in.  I've got the full segment up as I think it goes from a very funny intro into a very serious look at the roots of this "movement".  He points out the irony that the original Boston Tea Party was a protest against taxation without representation and in our current fiscal situation we are fully represented*:

It should also be noted that HUNDREDS of Austinites are OUTRAGED and will be protesting at the state capitol and there will also be a couple of other tax day protests, Austinites Plan "Tea Parties" as Part of Nationwide Protests:

Americans for Prosperity's Texas branch has planned its own Austin tea party today at Austin City Hall, titled "Don't Mess with Texas," said Cindy Mallette, a local group director. Gov. Rick Perry will speak at the event, as will other local Republicans and Libertarians.

But in the days leading up to the rallies, some have begun to question the motives and timing of those involved.

Libertarians hold their own tax day protests outside Austin's downtown post office, said Wes Benedict, former executive director of the Libertarian Party of Texas. About 25 to 30 people usually attend, he said.

"I'm glad to see citizens show they're fed up with the high taxes, but I think a lot of these Republicans showing up are just hypocrites," he said. "The Republican machine is trying to get in front of a parade. They probably feel like they have to."

*Full representation does not apply for citizens of the District of Columbia.

In Defense of Abstinence-Only Education

Hopefully to the relief of Lynn, I'll take some time off from Bashing Former President Bush directly and introduce you to a column by nationally noted abstinence only sex education advocate and advice columnist, Miss Abstinence.  Keeping in mind that it's entirely possible that this should have been posted yesterday, I give you Ask Miss Abstinence, courtesy of the fine people at the Texas Observer:

Dear Miss Abstinence: I think about sex all the time, even when I’m in church. What’s wrong with me?—Sweet Sixteen and Been Kissed Quite a Few Times, If You Want to Know the Truth

Dear Kissed: You’re a slut. That’s what’s wrong with you.

There's more dandy advice if you feel led to follow the link.

Boogers in the Bin--Composting Snot

I'm not sure how this post fits in with the last one in terms of being able to find good, high quality, solid information online that wasn't there ten years ago, but Grist's Q&A department takes on the heady question of whether or not you can compost mucus on used Kleenex/etc. today, Umbra On Composting Mucus and Other Conundra:

Dear Umbra,

My girlfriend and I are having a bit of a disagreement. When she is in the kitchen she uses paper towels to wipe her nose. She then proceeds to put the used paper towel into the compost bin in the kitchen. I’m sure that the microbes and worms in the compost pile could care less, but when I empty the bin into the pile it is gross to have to remove the snot-filled paper towels from the container. She doesn’t understand why I find this to be gross. Thoughts?

Local Bud

Dude, The Straight Dope on Local, Organic Weed (April 1, 2009):

As you probably know, industrial marijuana, aka “Big Pot,” has its problems. (In my house, big pot is useful only for boiling a big pound of pasta.) Marijuana from large-scale growing operations (hooch from far away) is often heavily sprayed with fungicides and herbicides like Paraquat. This is not only hard on ecosystems; it’s also a bit harsh on the lungs.

“Local, organic weed is way smoother,” said Josh Harrison, president of Bay Area Kids for Eco Drugs (BAKED) in San Francisco. “And way better for you. There’s no chemicals and shit.”

He had me buying it until about a third of the way in--once he started talking about touring the farm, I officially recognized it.

Like Money in the Bank...

A big ol' Hee Haw Salooot (explanation on the other side of the fold) to The Angry Citizen for posting this South Park clip describing to those of us who don't understand the financial system what happens when we give money to a bank:

Moving Back to North Carolina

I've put a lot of thought into this, talked to some people behind the scenes, looked at the financial situation, made lists of pros and cons with all kinds of sub-listings and cross references and I think that the best thing I can do for myself is to move back to North Carolina.  I haven't totally figured out where in NC, probably the Triangle area but I'll figure that out in the next few days.  I guess one of the things it comes down to is I'll never be a Texan.  Yee-haw.  See, it just doesn't fit.  I think the hardest part of it will be walking away from Sun Dragon after all the time and relationships I've built up there over the years.  Sure, you can keep up with people via the internet and everything but it's just not the same as the day in and day out training and teaching and learning.  I'll always support them every way I can but this part of it really, really sucks.

I'll try to explain some of the reasoning over on the other side, though I won't try to recreate the pros and cons lists--I may not have that much bandwidth...

How to Ruin a Dinner Party

Step One:  Invite Death to join the party.

Flat Stanley Visits Austin

A good friend of mine has a daughter whose school is doing the Flat Stanley Project and he asked if I would help out.  So, this morning after I finished my black belt essay (which isn't entirely finished--I'm going to read through it later today and see if it needs more polishing--after that I'll post it here), I sallied forth with Stanley and showed him the sights.  I think he had a good time and he got to see some of the cool things in Austin.  I've just uploaded the pdf of the highlights from Stanley's visit on the Publications and Documents page--it's the second entry here:  Publications and Other Documents.

And here's a picture from the collection of Stanly standing outside the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum (It ain't braggin' if it's true!):